Books with author Michael Payan

There's great excitement when Jack and his grandfather stumble upon the secret of making a nanobot. However, things go horribly wrong when the machine takes on a life of its own. All seems lost when it takes refuge up the nostril of the evil Cornelius Crumb. The zombiefied Crumb is eventually saved, (although he suffers a little frostbite in the process). But by now the nanobot has begun to mutate beyond control, can anyone or anything stop it from taking over Jack's home town of Ottenshaw......or even worse, the world.

Burma was wild and exotic, with a rich landscape and tempestuous weather. Frank was quickly introduced to the world of rubies abounding in the country, especially the very expensive “Pigeon blood ruby.” However, this beautiful and distant world had a dark side; its villagers were poor, uneducated, and the victims of slave and prostitution ring leaders. While being initiated to the world of weapons and rubies trade, Frank met with a young and very intelligent boy by the name of Phirrot. The boy, who spoke very little English, opened the doors to a culture Frank was dying to discover. But shortly after their meeting, the only Burmese friend Frank had was snatched one night while his village was being burned down. Grabbing the only opportunity, he had to chase after Alex; Frank, with the help of a few willing monks, went on a mission to rescue Phirrot. After a first failed attempt, Frank met with the beautiful Paula (an international investigator for child abuse) and together they were able to rescue the stolen children. Soon after, he was faced by Khun Sa himself who tried to make an example out of Frank by executing the monks who offered to help him. While running away from the general, Frank faced another great challenge; the powerful monsoon rains, which literally drowned him and the kids he was trying to save. The challenges confronting him, forced Frank to face his real enemies buried inside his soul; rooting from his own devastated childhood, with an abusive father who did nothing but bring him down. Frank finally understood that his dedication to saving Phirrot was actually an indirect attempt at saving himself. Fortunately, Frank survived and was approached by Paula’s group who trained and sent him to Brazil where he was about to face the evil men operating the shameful trade. In order to infiltrate the international ring, Frank had to pose as a customer preying on the very same kids he was trying to save. His mission will take him to a “Kill scene” where Frank only had seconds to save two children from a tragic end. The ringleaders now captured, Frank returned to his daughters with the great feeling of having found redemption.

"I am speechless. The Dirtiest Toilet Humor Book Ever is the most disgusting, crude book I have ever read. I am ashamed to say my son wrote this. Where did I go wrong?"-Mother of Author Michael Ryan, too embarrassed to give her name"I succeeded! It is clear that my superb parenting skills paid off. The Author, Michael Ryan, tells the A to Zs of shit taking. He demonstrates his expertise on the always funny material of the infamous #2."-Proud Father of Author Michael Ryan, who's wife wouldn't let him give his first nameThe Dirtiest Toilet Humor Book Ever was written for anyone who wants to laugh out loud about the topic of taking a crap.Author Michael Ryan displays his expertise on the often unspoken everyday experience of going to the bathroom. He dissects every imaginable issue from the toilet paper texture to the writings on the bathroom stall doors. A few of the many other topics covered are: types of doody, locations, bathroom spray, courtesy flush, the bidet, what to do while going to the bathroom, types of farts, clogging the bowl, activities, wiping (sitting vs. standing), diarrhea, hemorrhoids, girls, masturbation, constipation and public toilets in various countries.

KNOCK KNOCK JOKESDownload This Great Book Today! Available To Read On Your Computer, MAC, Smartphone, Kindle Reader, iPad, or Tablet!Love a good knock knock joke? Then this is the book for you!Inside this book there are hundreds of the funniest knock knock jokes, suitable for all ages. These jokes will be sure to keep the whole family entertained for hours!Get your copy today!

Onen the Teon (half-tiger half-lion, half-neon… duh) wants what every self-respecting prince of the magic jungle wants...Bloody spoils. Great glory.But Onen just turned seven and can’t beat up your average duckling (cuz of size, not spirit). He also can’t sneak up on your average duckling because Onen glows like a firework on the dark side of the moon.Onen’s got a duckling complex.But in the Jungle Kingdom there’s more than one path to glory…

A gripping tale of four young children plunged into a harsh, medieval world.Zak is 12 and lives for his football. He admits he’s not the greatest student but does find history pretty cool. Daniella, his slightly annoying younger sister, loves nothing more than to sing and dance. Their neighbours, Beth and her younger brother Tommy, are their best friends. Life is pretty normal, until strange noises and flashing lights start coming from the house behind - Snakey’s house. Despite being a little afraid of this mysterious old man, they feel drawn to investigate. Before they know it, their whole world is turned upside down as they are launched on a wild journey, where not only are they in danger, but so are the people they encounter. Zak is forced to use whatever he can remember from his history lessons to battle the dangers and lift their flagging spirits as they try to return home. But to make matters worse, they don’t know how to get back.

A gripping tale of four young children plunged into a harsh, medieval world.Zak is 12 and lives for his football. He admits he’s not the greatest student but does find history pretty cool. Daniella, his slightly annoying younger sister, loves nothing more than to sing and dance. Their neighbours, Beth and her young brother Tommy, are their best friends. Life is pretty normal, until strange noises and flashing lights start coming from the house behind - Snakey’s house. Despite being a little afraid of this mysterious old man, they feel drawn to investigate. Before they know it, their whole world is turned upside down as they are launched on a wild journey, where not only are they in danger, but so are the people they encounter. Zak is forced to use whatever he can remember from his history lessons to battle the dangers and lift their flagging spirits as they try to return home. But to make matters worse, they don’t know how to get back.